Made weak by time and fate,
but strong in will;
To seek, to strive, to find, and not to yield.

Side Note:
The fork. or Also known as "A Dingle-hopper" Reminds me of one who not only had amazing hair (that I would pretend I had as I swam in our pool as a young girl) but also for me represents a young woman who loved learning about everything and anything. Who pushed past barriers and boundaries to find her place in this world. In this industry education is key and you are always always learning. Everyday! And with that requires perseverance to reach goals. The industry of beauty is all about testing, pushing and surpassing barriers and boundaries. This industry is truly SWEET!!!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011


Ok, so I am too emotional today for it to be normal or ok. I think I might need some medication... I feel as sad as that statement sounds. Stupid Polycystic CRAP!!! It's totally sending me into chaos.
Between dealing with the lasting result of fatigue from having Valley Fever symptoms 7 yrs ago and now the added junk of polycystic symptoms.......... bleh!
For those of you who don't know I have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. Meaning my ovaries don't want to work anymore so they start to produce and egg and in about the 3rd step of forming, it stops and can't be released so I have pokadotted ovaries (cyst's)
The symptoms are: (The highlighted ones are me)
  • Infertility (not able to get pregnant) because of not ovulating. In fact, PCOS is the most common cause of female infertility. (although we don't know if I am until I start trying to get prego. Bran and I have not yet come to an agreement on this subject)
  • Infrequent, absent, and/or irregular menstrual periods. My cycle became absent and I though I was preggs but no.
  • Hirsutism (HER-suh-tiz-um) — increased hair growth on the face, chest, stomach, back, thumbs, or toes. Also thought I was preggs when I started to see sprouting on chest.
  • Cysts on the ovaries
  • Acne, oily skin, or dandruff This one and the next are super sucky and when ya add the anxiety and depression with it....... Yah. You can imagine I'm sure. When my skin when crazy I was so frustrated because I had no idea what was affecting it.
  • Weight gain or obesity, usually with extra weight around the waist This one is also rough and the fun part of it, polycystic also makes your body not want to let it go.
  • Male-pattern baldness or thinning hair.... Hopefully never. I don't think I could handle it.
  • Patches of skin on the neck, arms, breasts, or thighs that are thick and dark brown or black. Also have not noticed this.
  • Skin tags — excess flaps of skin in the armpits or neck area. I have one skin tag under my arm but it's been there as long as I can remember.
  • Pelvic pain. Thank goodness no.
  • Anxiety or depression
  • The one above has not been fun as I went through bouts of these when I was pregnant with Tessa. The doc gave me a perscription for Zoloft an anti depressant to help but just thinking of taking it stressed me out more. So I oped not to take it. After Tessa came I felt back to myself in about 4 months but then that's when my migranes started and I would have days where I would feel so yucky. I started Beauty School in Feb (When Tessa turned 1) and in school the other symptoms came. 1st my skin, then my fatigue got so bad I was falling asleep in class. Anxiety moments again. Then my cycle not doing what it was supposed to. Then my appt and ultra sound (I had poka dots) and then my scalp. And now depression with Anxiety.
  • Sleep apnea — when breathing stops for short periods of time while asleep. I've been tested for this but yet to have my followup. It got rescheduled for the 21st of February.
  • Here is a bit of exciting news though...... I get to have Lasik done next Friday!!!! Yeah! Thanks to Branden winning Fantasy Football.
  • And just in time as my contacts have died and of course 3 days before I have to wear my glasses for a week before my appt (no contacts allowed) Tessa breaks my glasses. I hope hot glue will work and you won't be able to tell. I have state boards on Monday!


Amb & Dev said...

Amanda, I am so sorry you have to go through all of this! Thant stinks big time! Know you are in our prayers always that you can get some relief from these symptoms. Love you. Going to the temple this week, I will put your name on the prayer roll.

Sugar Jane said...

Thanks ambs. I appreciate it. I think you're the only one who reads my blog. LOL.